Spring is coming....
Spring in a mushers mind is not fun... melting snow, rain, slush and MUD! Plus you know what snow covers up? Poop... all of those inches of snow that were wished for in the winter melt away and TADA!! All the turds that were covered up show up! Its a battle that is fought every spring!
For me spring means a transition. A transition in life and location. I like to travel and I like to explore but I've been doing it for several years now and its starting to take its toll on me emotionally. Having no real home base or ground I can call my own can be freeing but it also can be stressful and emotional. Also a huge hassel! I basically live out of a storage unit, someone's cabin or company housing, my Tahoe and a dog trailer! Not ideal for a lot of people but its worked for me for several years now, but the fun is starting to fade.
My kennel is getting to the point now where I need to find my home base. I have 19 dogs that are relying on me to support not only their physical well being but also emotional health. I think living out of a dog trailer and not having a place that they can feel safe and rest well could be taxing to them - I know I worry. I want to them to have that feeling of going HOME...and not just to the next parking spot. Actually it may be me that wants that feeling of going HOME.
I am ready to have that ground, I want to have that building that when I enter it is mine. My walls to hang pictures and awards that I want to admire. I want the walls to scream HOME! My saving grace, my safe place where only those that support a life I want to lead are allowed. A place that I can do what I want, when I want and no judgement will be placed. It will be in the North, I need to have trees and forest. That is where I am happy. Single track roads with dead ends and lake
As I leave Michigan in the next few days I will be heading to a state that I keep coming back to. I've lived in Colorado, I've lived in Texas, I've lived in Wisconsin and Alaska. I keep coming back to Minnesota...I've grown up here, I've developed friendships and my family is here. Minnesota is home to me. Where exactly I will end up I don't know that yet - I have a vision in my head that I'm looking for but I won't rush. I can't. That is one thing I've learned that you can't push, you can't beg and you can't plead - it doesn't work (I've tried...) and it only creates a vision of weakness. What you can do is have patience. Have patience and let go of any sort of control you think you have. That is when things happen in my experience.
I will be going to Alaska in the middle of April. I love my Alaska family and the job that I have there allows me to have more freedom in the winter when I really just want to run my dogs and focus almost exclusively on them. Alaska is probably the second state that I have felt at home in. Literally as soon as I cross that international line into Alaska from the Yukon I take a deep breath and it just feels good. Plus its Alaska... if you havent gone you need to experience it for yourself - its something pictures, TV and a personal description cannot do it justice.
Transitions are part of life and how you deal with them says a lot. I try not to stress too much but it happens. I try to look forward and not behind but trying to hang on to something because its comfortable is human nature. We want that comfort of what we know and not the unknown, but that unknown might just be the best thing that has ever happened to us! Taking a chance and moving forward is what we need to do to have personal growth but at the same time consistency is also very comforting.